12-11-06

And here we are.  Five years later. 

Today has been a thinking day for our entire family.

Youngest daughter, for whom this day is most personal, had a moment of teary eyes while discussing her stay in the hospital.  Even though she was just three-years old, she remembers with astonishing clarity, little details and moments that happened.  From the impromptu visit from several airline pilots to sampling her first taste of chili, she remembers it all.  And most of all, she remembers that there still is no cure.  So hitting a milestone like half a decade is a bit anti-climatic.  Maybe that is what brought out the tears most.

Oldest daughter reflected on the milestone like this... "I was sad when I saw my baby sister in the hospital.  It scared me because I didn't understand diabetes and I really did think she was going to die.  Isn't that funny?  Now I know.  She is OK.  She is still the best sister in the world."

And for my husband and I...

We woke up this morning and thought about it over our shared morning coffee. 

"Wow."

"Five years?" 

"It just doesn't seem possible."

After taking a few moments to sink in, we realized that the date is very real and so is the diabetes. 

While we do not have a cure, saying nothing has changed isn't correct either.

We are smarter.
We are tougher.
We are wiser.
We are more tired.
We are also more focused on the improvements in care than in actual cures. 

We are choosing to live in the now.

Which is really the most important part of having an anniversary as significant as this one.  Somewhere along our journey, we made the decision to focus on the moment of right now and no longer worry about the future or what happened in the past. 

We learned to say no.
We learned to put our kids first.
We learned to put our family first.
We learned to enjoy the little victories and are learning to let go of the small hurts.

We also decided to give a voice to dealing with diabetes.  We aren't going to let diabetes speak for us or decide what, when and where we will be.  We choose our life adventures and bring diabetes along for the ride.

As I didn't want to let this day slip by without doing any special (because really, it should be noted and remembered as this is part of our core foundation), we took our girls out for a special family date.  We went to a craft class and made little ornaments for our Christmas tree.  Each one has been dated and marked with a '5' to commemorate the moment. 

After decorating, I took a moment to admire the artwork that my girls had created. 

Beautiful and happy.

Which is exactly where we are five years later.